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Dear brother,
You sound like a very caring and conscious
person.
Especially for the premie longtimers,
confronting the dirty hidden skeletons in the cult
closet and the money trail [at least the parts
that haven't been erased or laundered] begins
what can be a difficult but liberating process.
First, some of us invested a huge chunk of our
adult lives in the cult belief system surrounding
m.'s personality cult. Some of us sacrificed the
allegedly worthless illusions of careers and
relationships, perhaps lived in ashrams, regularly
gave hard-earned money that could have been better
spent on ourselves or poor families, spent
thousands of evenings at indoctrinating cult
events, framed our life cosmology around
dysfunctional miragey as the central concept-maker
and worldly authority figure, and gave him the kind
of unbridled love and devotion truly only worthy of
the real God [or life energy] residing
within each of us ourselves.
The 4 techniques of meditation themselves are
very old, and are shown by others, too, sometimes
with no strings of devotion attached whatsoever.
The come-on that the so-called knowledge is free is
not true -- miragey sells it with a price - buying
into him in order to receive it. Those strings are
further sewn into the individual [like a
puppet] by promoting the notion [via
innuendoes nowadays] that one's inner
experience is somehow tied to or reliant on him --
a fallacy. One can practice meditation and have
some peace of mind and nice experiences without
devotion to him at all, or going to the
mind-numbing Big Brother vids, either.
When m. first came to the West, he presented
himself as the Lord saviour in human form - divine.
Now, it's watered down for acceptability and
palatability in those societies where many people
are now wary of cults and have heard about
Jonestown, the Rajneesh debacle, Scientology
brainwashing, Sly Baba, Maranatha, holy rollers,
evangelical rip-off artists, Hale-Bop suicides, and
other cults.
The decades of mental and emotional
reinforcement by m.'s lectures, the videos, and
association with other premies themselves create a
huge mental onion of cumulative layers, that when
peeled, however, reveals an emptiness at the core
-- that is, the part surrounding m. and the cult
organization itself.
Now, there are some of us who still enjoy doing
various techniques of meditation. For instance, I
incorporate some zen and Tibetan approaches of
breath meditation. Even my mainstream medical
doctors recommend breath meditation for health and
relaxation. Also, I generally meditate on the inner
light and inner sounds now in a quiet dark room
[at night or early morning] without poking
my fingers on my eyeballs or into my ears. I
actually feel closer to my own Creator [or
energy] within me, now that there is no mental
obstacle of a guru or intermediary in between.
Giving blind devotion to m. for years has
engendered a false sense of learned helplessness
and has perpetuated a co-dependent relationship on
the part of many people, whereby thousands of
premies have been enabling his own dysfunctional
life and addiction to gross materialism [the
maya] at the expense of their own lives and
destinies and the fulfillment of personal
goals.
Miragey preached a mantra of 'no cheat, no
deceit.' However, the facts presented on this site
reveal a clear pattern of cheat and deceit by m.
and his organization. He denounced drugs [and
many premies felt guilty for indulging], yet
did them himself - pot, booze, cigs. He and the org
practically extorted money from premies through
guilt trips to support propagation. Yet, the
majority of the money has gone to support him and
his extended family in fabulous riches. He loves to
quote Kabir, yet he avoids telling the premies that
Kabir also said emphatically that a true saint or
perfect master does Not ask for or accept material
wealth/riches from his devotees. He ran over and
killed a bicyclist in India with his car, then
switched cars in the motorcade, split the scene and
let an innocent premie take the blame instead. He
knew about reported complaints regarding a
pedophile instructor, yet did not facilitate
justice or offer apologies or compensate the
victims or their families. After he got a cream pie
in the face in Detroit in '73 and his brother, the
WPC, and some instructors instigated a retaliatory
murder attempt that almost killed reporter Pat
Halley, he ordered his subordinates [including
Michael Donner and involving DLM President Bob
Mishler] to aid and abet the cult fugitives
from the law to avoid prosecution and adverse
publicity (e.g. 'get Fakiranand out of the
country'). He and his older brother waged a bitter
court battle in India over the earthly spoils of
the family 'guru business.' He asked his personal
financial advisor Michael Dettmers to procure young
blonde premie women for his sexual pleasure, while
he was married to Marolyn. Money that
well-intentioned premies donated ostensibly for
propagation and DLM/Elan Vital has been routinely
diverted for expensive cars, planes, yachts,
residences, watches, and other trinkets and
material riches for 30 years. He authorized the
creation of shell corporations [e.g. Seva],
not EVI, that actually control the assets derived
from the premie donations; and he controls those
corporations through the interlocking directorates
[in fact, the $7 million yacht Serenity is
listed as being for the personal benefit and use of
the 'owner']. He also derives wealth from
premie-owned businesses in which he was given
shares. Amaroo is not a non-profit corporation land
holding. He sold the Malibu house premies bought
for him for $250,000 back for about $5 million 4
years later, yet still lives in that house today
remodeled and maintained at premie expense
[estimated at 28,000 sq. ft. with a marker
value of $25 million]. After purchasing and
refurbishing expensive luxury jets with premie
money, he has repeatedly gone out and bought new
more expensive luxury jets, only getting a fraction
of the projected mileage and lifespan on each
plane. He has allowed his aides to verbally bully
and abuse the premies. When the ashram premies
began aging and it became evident that the cult
would eventually need a medical plan and retirement
homes in the future, he disbanded the ashrams
instead.
He led premies to believe that they should pray to
and worship him, even though he apparently admitted
that he did not hear their prayers. Instead of
taking any blame for mistakes or failings due to
his directions, he routinely put the blame and
guilt trips on his subordinates, the organization,
and his devotees. He has to date not accepted
responsibility, blame, or accountability for these
things.
No cheat, no deceit -- That is why, finally,
many of us longtime devoted premies had to say
'adios'. I mean, come on, how much does it take
before intelligence kicks in -- even in spite of
the cult brainwashing to subjugate our wicked minds
and never leave room for doubt, especially
regarding him. Sure, lots of us have messed up,
too, in various ways in our lives. But none of us
has claimed to be the master of perfection, the
Lord of the Universe, the satguru, the saviour of
mankind. What kind of role model do we have here?
What kind of saviour of mankind behaves thus to his
own devotees? What kind of master of hypocrisy is
worthy of such blind devotion? Is this just some
divine game [lila] or illusion being
played? No! Are the facts presented on the
ex-premie.org website lies? No. Most of them come
from public records and/or eyewitness accounts.
Ok, now, what to do? When a longtime premie sees
the information posted on this site, here are some
typical reactions/patterns: initial disbelief,
dismissal, justification, and anger, denial, then
maybe some curiosity, then upon further
investigation: shock, pain, sense of betrayal,
anger, bitterness, sadness, then a sense of a veil
being removed from one's eyes, a burden being
released, gradually a newfound freedom, a sense of
growing self-awareness and discovery, self-esteem,
and a desire to experience more out of life that
was missing or previously denied.
There is a gentler forum for recent exes or
people leaving the cult. Sometimes this place
[people] can be kind of harsh. If she seems
fragile already, then get the recent exes email
address from the forum administrator [as listed
above in the menu at the top of the page].
Also, I would recommend finding a good certified
mental health counsellor (with Ph.D. or at least
M.A.), preferably one who is somewhat knowledgeable
in this field of cult detachment [but one who
is not attached to any cult or religious trip].
There are some self-help books that help,
pertaining to codependency, personal space, setting
personal boundaries, respecting oneself, etc. Lots
of longtime premies seem sad -- for good reason.
They have suffered and endured a life of emotional
deprival and suppression of their own unique
essences, dreams, and intellects, in many respects.
Their lives have been sublimated and sacrificed at
the altar of miragey's Napoleonic gluttony.
That having been said about miragey [master
of the mirage]. I finally had to forgive him,
because the anger and bitterness of betrayal was a
terrible burden for me to carry around anymore.
However, I hold him and the organization
accountable for a number of things that have
affected the premies and their families, and there
must be full disclosure and responsibility
accepted. Upon my last breath, I don't wish to be
judged, either, for the pathetic failings and
mistakes in my own life. But, because of my
devotion to miragey, my only beloved child was
taken from me, and I was denied my rights as a Dad
in court, for being a cult member -- right after
the Jonestown massacre. Now, my adult son won't
even give me his phone number or address -- he is
still angry and bitter, too. So, the harm has thus
been perpetuated and passed along to another
innocent generation - premie children. Imagine the
prolonged suffering I went through when my wife
left the cult and walked out, and then I was not
even permitted to have my boy visit me, when I
lived in a premie house!
I would naturally advise kindness and patience,
lots of walks, talks, listening, hugs, and making
and taking some time for special new experiences
and fun or interesting excursions, finding a new
vitality and joy in the simple everyday pleasures
of existence, discovering and nurturing latent
talents, professional and personal interests, and
sharing new adventures together. Also, once
[and if] she voluntarily takes the first
step toward cult recovery, get rid of any miragey
photos in the house, vids, etc. that are constant
reminders.
I really must go now. I hadn't anticipated
reading your post. But, after reading about your
situation and your wife's plight, I felt honorbound
and compelled to immediately respond. I wish you
and your spouse abiding happiness and the best of
luck -- and a new life of shared journeys,
contentment within your hearts, and peace in your
minds.
Ciao,
Peace and lentils,
da lil' swami
[who is such a banana, too]
jai suchabanana... haha
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