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(I am still hoping to
get an answer, or at least an acknowledgement. As I
promised in my letter, I will NOT put any replies
on this forum.)
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Dear Pia -
A premie friend of mine, Chris Dickey, suggested
that I write to you regarding some factual errors
on your site. I am hoping that I can communicate
with you as one person to another, and that you
will not regard me as your enemy.
My name is Katie, and my husband Brian
and I have been running ex-premie.org since January
of 1998. If you want to blame any ex-premies for
'attacking' Maharaji, we are probably the people to
blame, since we have worked hard to keep the site
and the associated forum on line for the past three
and a half years. We have been assisted by
Jean-Michel Kahn in this effort since 2000, when
his own web site was forced off the internet by
premies who contacted lawyers in France.
I have to admit that I was shocked when I read
the allegations on your web site. Pia, I am a human
being - so is my husband - and so is Jean-Michel.
We are not evil. You would probably like us if you
met us. However, we have had very different
experiences than you with Maharaji, and that is why
we are committed to the ex-premie.org site.
Brian and I are NOT people who held prominent
positions in DLM/EV. Both of us are 'nobodys' -
neither of ever held any responsible position in
DLM/EV - I doubt if anyone even remembers who we
are, since we got knowledge in 1972, when
record-keeping within the organization wasn't so
great (Also I was 16 at the time - not a likely
candidate for leadership!)
Well, on to some specific rebuttals -
You wrote:
My name is Pia Grunbaum. I have decided to host
this web site because Maharaji and the people who
enjoy his Knowledge are being cynically attacked by
a hate group. Their stated intent is to defame
Maharaji and destroy the potential benefits of his
work. This small group uses the Internet to put
forth a gross misrepresentation of a person whose
efforts are deeply valued by hundreds of thousands
of people globally, including myself.
My answer:
Pia, I take issue (naturally) with some of the
statements you put forth here. The stated intent of
ex-premie.org (which I assume you are talking
about) is NOT to 'destroy Maharaji and destroy the
potential benefits of his work'. As I stated
earlier, my husband Brian and I have been running
the ex-premie.org site since January of 1998. Our
purpose NEVER has been to 'bring Maharaji down', or
to 'misrepresent him' in any way. Rather, we hope
to present our side of the story in a way that will
help people who are not happy following Maharaji -
and these people do exist. I became involved with
the site because a premie friend of mine - a dear
friend - committed suicide, and, although it was
too late for me to reach him, I felt that I might
be able to reach other people who felt as confused
and as full of self-hatred and despair as he
did.
I object to your characterization of our site as
a 'hate group'. Neither Brian or I or Jean-Michel
wishes to spread 'hate' against premies as a group,
or against Maharaji personally. I do not hate
Maharaji - I do get angry at him sometimes when I
see the negative effect his teachings have had on
certain people.
You wrote:
This is a call for people who know Maharaji and
who practice Knowledge to join me in speaking out
to set the record straight and show how the picture
being painted by those who call themselves
'ex-premies' is both false and irresponsible. I ask
all contributors to this site to take personal
responsibility for their own choices and any part
they have had in fostering any misconceptions. We
ask the exes to do the same - especially those who
were in positions of responsibility within the
organisation. I do not issue this call lightly, but
out of the deepest sense
of personal indignation and seriousness of purpose.
My answer:
Pia, I DO take personal responsibility for all my
choices. If you are familiar with my posts on the
ex-premie.org forum, I urge others to do the same.
I think this is the only way we can attain personal
freedom. However, I do not take responsibility for
everything that has happened to me in life,
although I am the kind of person who tends to do
that. I have learned, with help, to take
responsibility for MY PART of it. I don't know if
you realize this, but there are many people who
have tried very hard to follow Maharaji and to
practice knowledge, and who haven't been able to
find happiness or peace that way. I would like
those people to know that it isn't ALL their fault
- that they don't need to feel like failures in
life, and that knowledge doesn't work for everyone.
And that that is OK.
You wrote, re Maharaji's critics:
The source of most of the attacks on Maharaji
and his work comes from a small group of former
students led by several who had positions of major
responsibility in the organization. Michael
Dettmers, Michael Donner, Jim Heller, and
Jean-Michel Kahn.
My reply:
Actually, this statement is untrue. As I said,
Brian and I began running the ex-premie.org site in
January of 1998. Jim Heller WAS active in posting
against Maharaji then - I believe he had been
posting about Maharaji on Usenet and on the
ex-premie.org forum since 1996. However, he NEVER
held any position of power in either DLM or EV - he
was a rank-and-file ashram premie, as he will
attest. There have been several other people who
have been speaking out about their feelings about
Maharaji nearly as long as Jim has - I am not sure
why you single him out in this way.
Jean-Michel began administering the French
language forum on ex-premie.org sometime during
1998. He had his own site - the DLM/EV Papers - on
his own server - at that time. In mid-year 2000,
while Jean-Michel was on a trip to the United
States, premies working with lawyers in France
caused his site to be pulled from the Internet.
Brian and I offered to host his site on
ex-premie.org at that time. Since then, Jean-Michel
has been active in putting new pages (in both
French and English) on ex-premie.org.
What you have said about Michael Dettmers and
Michael Donner is not true. All that either of them
has done is post on the forum hosted on
ex-premie.org. Since all submissions to that forum
become property of ex-premie.org, Jean-Michel has
used their testimony to make new pages for the
site. By no stretch of the imagination can you call
either of these men 'leaders' - in fact, they are
not involved with ex-premie.org at all. You may
criticize them for what they have said on the
forum, but in fact, what they have done is tell the
truth as they see it. And I believe that both of
them have taken responsibility for their part in
DLM/EV.
You wrote:
All of these now claim that they were
unwittingly working for a cult while in fact they
were instrumental in forming and implementing the
very organizational policies and practices they are
now criticizing.
My answer:
This is untrue - please read my message above. I
feel that Jean-Michel, Michael Donner, and Michael
Dettmers have taken plenty of responsibility for
their roles in DLM/EV - and they (particularly
Michael Dettmers) have been attacked by many
ex-premies because of repercussions from their
roles in DLM/EV.
You wrote:
At worst, it is the cruel revenge of frustrated
ex-lovers. If there was a cult in those days, it
existed in the minds of people like this fueled by
an ambition to make Maharaji and his work conform
to their own private visions.
My answer:
Pia, I am not a frustrated ex-lover, and I don't
want 'revenge'. I am involved with ex-premie.org
because I want to help people like my friend who
killed himself - and, believe me, there ARE other
people like him out there (we have heard from
many). I am not interested in converting anyone who
is content with following Maharaji. I hope you can
believe this.
If it was a perfect world, my hope would be that
Maharaji would take some responsibility for his
past statements and actions (for example, his
implications that he was an incarnation of a divine
being). I believe that would help many troubled
premies. But although I wish for this to happen, I
don't expect it to happen - and I can guess that
you wouldn't feel that it was a good thing.
I am also hoping that you will make some changes
to your site based on the facts I have presented
here. I also would hope that you wouldn't demonize
ex-premies as a group - as I said, we are human
beings just as you are.
I hope you can receive this letter in the spirit
in which it was written. Please feel free to e-mail
me if you have questions (I will NOT post your
letters on the Forum!!!)
Sincerely,
Katie
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