After 4-hours of
meditative mea culpa samadhi, I have attained
enlightenment and channeled the glorious shining
blissful spirit of the above troll poster. Here is
what he is Really saying:
Translation of R2Dtour:
'CAVEAT EMPTOR!! READ THE CULT LABEL FIRST
BEFORE JOINING, YOU PATHETIC LOOSERS AND DUMMIES!
SEE - YOU JOINED A CULT WITH HINDU AND GURU
CONCEPTS YOU YOURSELVES CREATED AND THEN FORCED
UPON GURU, er MAHARAJI -- THAT'S THE TICKET! THOSE
WHO HAVE LEFT ARE LOOSERS, LIARS, AND WHINERS
[sic NOT credible] -- THOSE WHO HAVE STAYED
ARE THE MASTER RACE
[and credible]!! Got it? PERFECT LOGIC!
Pissings all. Thought Id drop by and take
a few smarmy sniper target practice shots at you
all after having been away for some time, and just
emulated my immaculately infallible perfect massa
-- having downed this entire bottle of Glenfiddich
after work today at my prestigious firm. care to
see my glorious credentials listed again? No, oh
well. whatever...
You know, you can really tell a lot about a
person by what they do. What they say tells you
some things but actions really DO speak louder than
words. [Just look at maharaji!] or Take my
boastful beautiful website, for instance. I am hot
shit [even if those dumb broads don't think so;
like, why else would I be posting here on a Friday
night?! duh!], er back to - you loosers who
never quite 'got it', and who never should have
been given 'it', in the first place. So, its
interesting watching the alleged premie slavedog
Exodus movement [haha] evolve
over the years. Mr. Mind's thoughts below are based
on continuously coming back to feed as my dark
alter-ego at the ex-premie forums with remarkable
regularity and frequency over a number of years.
[Even though I'm a fulfilled and realised
enlightened premie apologist for maharaji, I just
can't seem to get enough, so I come here, for some
inexplicable reason...]
So here are some of the things I have noted
about ex-premies from their actions:
1. You are not very happy, just like those
community contactpersons who are taking prozac or
the alcoholic instructors or all the elan vital
organizers and active pwks who have quit in droves
over the past year - all the thousands of pathetic
loosers who just didn't seem to get it - all over
the world. Whatever the reason and rationale,
nobody is driven to grind an axe with the
persistence that you do if they are happy. Nobody
-- including my stupid whining clients, partners,
secretaries, my nagging wife, my ungrateful brats,
parents, etc., none of whom can stand my pompous
asshole cult posturing and impeccable credentials.
those total loosers! Boy, am I one lucky
s.o.b.!
2. You have a need for community. hahaha
[Who needs bleepin community when you have The
Living Lord, a BMW, and a prestigious mid-town law
office overlooking the plebians?!] You have
found a group of people in ex-premies who share
similar values of freedom and truth in advertising
- [yech! makes me wanna barf], and who
sometimes even support each other [yechy
poo]. Of course, to a large degree you are
almost as dysfunctional a group as premies, but
such is the down-side of community. [you weak
spineless, continuing co-dependents] But of
course, you were obviously screwed-up premies, too.
You're NOT credible. I AM!!! Maharaji is!! Jagdeo
is!! Raja ji IS! Rennie Davis, Dettmers, Mishler,
McGregor, Donner, and Blitzen WERE! [you
traitors to the LIVING LORD - oops, I mean THE
MASTER, THE LIVING MASTER, THE MASTER OF OUR TIME,
BY HIS OWN GRACE.] On the contrary, I am so
sickeningly functional, by comparison. That's why I
am gloating now [gulp gulp - where's my other
bottle? oh yeah, stashed in the right oak desk
drawer in my walnut-paneled office with the leather
chair. I RULE, you loosers! I am enlightened And
successful - the epitome of the modern realised
premie of the living lord! You blew it - you could
have been one of the Chosen People! Not a leaf
moves without the Master.]
3. You are not very discerning [you are
dumber than that pathetic environmental protection
agency lawyer who thought his client would prevail
against my big polluting corporate golden goose -
loved it!! we coached and greased the palms of that
one defense expert witness, but good!!! hahaha
that's the grace...]. Generally, you follow
that tried-and-true tribal tenet, any enemy
of my enemy is a friend of mine. [kinda
like the USA and it allies in Afghanistan. hehehe
yeah, I got that one from watching CNN, dudes. btw,
God, do I love what Sharon's doing to those
millions of bleepin' whiny displaced Palestinian
Christian shiksas and A-rabs! You know what the
Kabbala says after all: it is ok to steal from and
kill the Gentiles and unbelievers! How I love the
sweet smell of blessed napalm in the morning! If
only I were young enough to enlist. hehehe Oh,
well, maybe I'll send a tax-deductible donation and
plant a tree over there -- in Gaza, hahaha]
This is exemplified every day when anyone says
something negative about Maharaji [you
ungrateful former lapdogs], no matter how true
and corroborated [yech], it will be soundly
supported by a chorus of well
saids and ****Best of
Forums****. [poo poo poo] The
problem with this gem of a 'quality' of course is
that the enemy of your enemy may just be the devil
himself, and you wouldnt be prepared to tell
the difference, just like I couldn't - and still
can't - tell the difference, either, from so many
years of playing devil's advocate and apologist
myself [never leave room for doubt, after
all] -- both personally [i.e. here and on
another unmentionable site -- hehehe - you know
which one -- haha] and professionally [I am
sooooooo smooth -- wanna buy the 59th St. bridge?
hahaha feelin groovy,,,]. And I don't know why
my jealous colleagues call me the 'Snake Fake --
Ready to Bake'!
4. You default to being a victim pretty quickly
[i.e. you lose - loosers]. A perennial
victim is someone who has a hard time taking
responsibility for the position in which they find
themselves, even if they really were victimized.
You are outraged when confronted with the
possibility that your premie beliefs were probably
based on pure fantasy - as spewed by the noble
altruistic, charitable, saintly, godlike, ascetic,
harmonious and loving Rawat Holy Family and passed
along as doctrine by their holiness appointed
instructors and their Holy Name publications, such
as Who is Guru Maharaj ji? and Life With Knowledge
- The Premie Guidebook, And it is Divine, Divine
Times, and by Divine Light Mission, Visions
International, Elan Vital, and the 10,000 sacred
videos -- with more satsang of the living lord
incarnate to come [how I long to suck his fat
lil toes and lick his lotus feet -- rufff!!
rufff!!!! rahr!!! arghh!!!! Bow!!!!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh please pet me, massa. a bone?
ruff ruff ruff ruff.....]. But youve
gotta ask, whose beliefs were they anyway? (Hint:
If your answer is anyone other than yourself, then
this trait definitely applies to you.) Hey, like
the stupid opposition yesterday - that girl who
charged my client with rape had it coming, in my
book. I mean, she voluntarily accepted the
invitation of the minister to go back to his house
for cookies and spiritual training. So what if he
told her he was going to give her a junior
knowledge session! She was probably making it up,
anyway. My own clients Never NEVER lie! Just look
at Maharaji. would he LIE to you? NO, he is
perfect, after all, as he has told us so so many
many times.]
5. You used to belong to a cult. I ADMIT IT!
[but it was You -- Not poor innocent maharaji
-- YOU young Westerners fed HIM with those Indian
Hindu concepts of Perfect Master, the satguru,
Krishna and his gopis, satsang, service,
meditation, ashrams, mahatmas, holy water, arti,
arti tray, toe-kissing, darshan envelopes, thrones,
bowing to His picture, etc.] There was a group:
mindset, set of norms, belief system, high,
pressure to conform, etc. Things cult observers
like to point out. And certainly the things you
old-farts [ready for trash compactors and
cremation ovens] so readily point out you used
to do. Yech! Makes me ill just thinking about it.
[ you guys make me wanna puke! Seasons
Greetings, after all! Shalom, you fuckin worthless
pieces of shit loosers -- ooops. sorry.] Thank
God thats behind us [by HIS Grace!
incidentally, I can't wait for darshan again - just
to bow down and kiss his precious and pure holy
lotus feet], and continues to be cleaned up as
we speak [I can hear the paper shredders in the
other room right now, in fact!]. Hey you never
know, maybe you guys leaving helped somewhat in
that regard. [i.e. good riddance to bad rubbish
-- you rotten veges - there but for the Grace of
the Master go I... Now, everything's great -- ever
since 144,000 of you loosers left -- right after
Millenium '73!! Oh well, you missed those flying
saucers. I actually levitated up to the mother
ship, which had come to pay obeisance to the Lord
of the Universe (according to the Holy Family)-- am
I GOOD, or what!!! read my lips -- er, resume
again!]
6. You probably should never have become a
premie. [you were either too dumb, insincere,
lazy, or just in your mind 24 hours a day.] If
theres one thing you might fault Maharaji
for, is allowing Knowledge to be given so
indiscriminately. I mean, its not for
everybody, really. [especially you total
loosers -- it's for the elite Alphas of the New
World Order. In fact, Maharaji should have
discriminated - yes, we need more discriminating
minds, er segregation - you know, like the kinder
and gentler version we have over on the West Bank
and in Gaza. hahaha! Or like the Old antebellum
South. Boy, those must have been the Good Old
Days!] Neither is crossing the South Pole on a
sail board, which is like my ultimate
dream/fantasy. I mean, like when everyone crosses
the South Pole on a sail board, there will be peace
on earth. Nor is becoming a crack addict commando
in the Israeli military. Blood will have blood!!
Kill the infidels - Muslims, gentiles, and
apostates! Id be a little pissed myself if
Id gotten into something I really wasnt
prepared for nor had the stamina to succeed at.
[aren't I GOOODDDDD GOD! I am so fucking
superior - saved, holier than thou, there but for
the grace - you total whining loosers]. I guess
thats why he became more hands-on with the
insemination of er Knowledge with those young
blonde premie women. Isn't Monica hot?!!! Boy,
would I like to....
7. You are not very tolerant. [like me]
To each their own is a common saying. So I ask you,
why do you think that because you so doubt
Maharajis unimpeachable integrity and
perfection today -- which by the way is based to a
large part on the points of view of a miniscule
group of disgruntled people, such as reporters,
attorneys, mental health professionals, nurses,
professors, mothers, fathers, government officials,
apostate ministers, homosexuals, bleeding heart
liberals, whining victims, former looser ashram
residents that he was saving from drugs, maharaji's
ungrateful former personal manager, the
organization's late Benedict Arnold president,
former mahatmas and western instructors who never
realised the knowledge because they got into their
minds from doubting and thinking, his mother who
lied and was into Hindu superstitions anyway, his
jealous brothers who couldn't accept his divinity
-- I mean he heard voices speaking to him, after
all -- ya gotta believe!!! , and other not credible
witnesses [and on stupid false government
documents, photos that obviously were tampered with
- but we'll sue you bastards for copyright
infringement -- he never wore that crown!! - yacht
and corporate registrations probably forged by
ex-premies, and on the false testimony of his
former personal staff, as well as hundreds of
posting former devotees -- it's all Lies, Lies,
Lies -- all maharaji ever kept for himself was his
lil dog Checkers - do not believe your eyes - do
NOT do NOT drive up Pacific Coast Highway to
Trancas Canyon Road, up Anacapa View, and look at
#23 - that is NOT a palace, but rather a
'dilapidated bungalow' -- you know, those
dilapidated 28,000 sq ft Malibu bungalows that are
not worthy of the living Lord, oops THE Master]
and no credible eyewitnesses who knew him who were
privileged enough to be x-rated PAMs -- that
everyone who comes out and supports Maharaji is
either: stupid, dishonest, naïve, or just
plain evil? [well, let's eliminate evil. ok? I
mean, 3 out of 4 ain't That bad, is it? And
instructor Jagdeo was a lil altar boy at the lotus
feet. [I can't wait to represent that case --
win or lose
---
the fees!!!!!] And why do you revel in treating
premies with contempt? i.e. pretending to 'help'
them exit [retch] this most blissful of
Master-servant relationships. Now, please resist
falling back into trait #4 and saying something
new-agey like, I know its wrong, but as
a victim it helps me when I express my anger,
or something equally as intolerant. I mean, nobody
has EVER seen maharaji angry or intolerant, have
they?!!! He is the real victim! Those crying rape
and abuse are the real abusers. Someone oughta look
into Their backgrounds. And after all, there is
NOTHING new agey about Knowledge, serving the
satguru THE Living Master, pranaming at his holy
lotus feet in Amaroo, chanting and dancing and
worshipping his golden perfect body, I bow to you
my Lord, etc. - No, that is NOT new-agey. It's been
around a long, long time. As our unadulterated
affidavits by the late spiritual chief justice and
arbitrator Kabir clearly show: He wrote 'the true
saint accepts riches and wealth from his devotees.
If he is not accepting, soliciting or demanding
Rolls Royces or Rolex watches or luxury jets, or
extramarital nookie, then he is NOT a true saint or
master!!!'
8. You sweat the small stuff [like the
diversion of $100 million dollars, the ashrams, the
assassination attempts and coverups the Holy Family
ordered, the darshan cash envelopes, the planes,
yachts, mansions, car collections, clever shell
corporations, etc.] The nit-picky level of
detail that you bemoan your years as premies is
very telling in this regard. Chill! Life is too
short. (Of course this could be related to #1,
whatever that was -- gulp gulp- shit I'm down to
Wild Turkey - oh, here's some Jim Beam - yes!)
9. You are not very honest. [I use that line
all the time in court against the opposition's
witnesses! gets the judge or jury wondering --
hahahaha!!] This is the most telling trait that
strikes me about ex-premies. [You're ALL OF
BUNCH OF STINKING LIARS - YOU WERE NOT THERE - YOU
DID NOT EXIST - YOU DID NOT SEE OR HEAR OR WITNESS
ANYTHING. IT WAS ALL A MIRAGE OF YOUR MINDS. GOT
IT?!! Some of you were involved for 10, 20, 30
years and only now are saying you didnt have
such a good time, or that your experience was not
very real. Sheesh, myself I am in it because it
fulfills a very deep longing I have, which brings
undeniable peace. If after one or two years of
giving it a fair chance it hadnt delivered on
that, I would have been gone, pronto. + every good
pwk knows deep inside that Maharaji is the Lord,
anyway -- er The Living Master. I mean, you can NOT
divorce the experience of observing your breath
from the Master. You see, only HE gives the
possibility of That Experience, That fulfillment,
That understanding, That bliss, The grace and mercy
of being able to participate and donate, and
donate, and donate again, and donate more, and
donate monthly, and donate automatically, and
donate your estates, and keep on donating
generously to pay attorneys from other prestigious
law firms and - Finally - some clever public
relations people now who can show the world and
everyone how he has brought peace to the Middle
East and Latin America and Africa and India and
Pakistan, like maharaji said he would - I mean just
inner peace, of course -- and the team strategists,
dog trainers, security force and metal dectectors,
directors of cult homeland security, gardeners,
domestic servants, personal secretaries, mistress,
book company, maharaji promotional media
productions, maharaji's photographers, maharaji's
jet crew, his personal valet/butler, HIS HIS HIS
HIS HIS HIS etc. much of it donated by you
ungrateful wretches, who naively think there should
be some kind of accountability. Hey, get real,
kiddies. This ain't Kansas. This is MAHARAJI'S
WORLD!!! EVERYTHING IN IT IS HIS anyway, so give it
up to him. you don't need it. he -- and we --
do!
10. You have selective memory loss. Was there
nothing of value you learned as a premie? [like
toe-kissing, bowing, scraping, acting humble,
sucking phlegm, giving up your paychecks and
relationships and careers to follow him around,
having sex with him (as your trusted minister) if
you were a cute young blonde babe, lying to people,
smuggling money for him, aiding and abetting
assassins -- as HE Ordered, or his role model on
how to drive and how to comport oneself and file a
vehicular manslaughter accident report properly and
honestly like a true Master or saint, how to pay
off people in hush-money settlements, and other
spiritual stuff, etc etc etc. ] I find that
hard to believe for most of you. I remember
listening to some of you at nightly satsang
[oops - the pre-video days never happened - it
was all your imagination - you Westerners invented
satsang, darshan, and other concepts you forced
upon Maharaji] as you recounted your stories of
personal growth. I used to admire you for taking up
the challenge to walk the razors
edge [which we'd like to run across your
throats right now] and not settle for a life of
conformity [like being a prestigious snake
attorney . hahahaha] I revered the nobility of
your striving for a higher clarity, a higher
understanding, and a higher love. But now, now that
you are in the autumn and late summer of your
lives, when the pressure to conform is far greater
[there Has NEVER Been Any pressure to conform
in The Cult], you have forgotten those noble
stories and fairy tales [remember the tall
tales Maharaji and the Indian mahatmas used to
tell? Maharaji learned those fables very young,
while apprenticing in the family business ],
and you only see what you had to give up in order
to grow. Such a shame. Guess that's why Peter
Townsend wrote, 'Hope I die before I get old'.
[You total loosers!]
Anyway, there's my top 10 random observations I
have made of you folks over the years that I
thought youd find interesting. I know some of
you are really trying to make sense out of it all,
so perhaps this will help. [because you're so
stupid, and I, a true devotee of The Living Master,
am so bleeping smart!!! I am saved!!! You apostates
are damned to be rotten vegetables for ever leaving
His shelter, HIS grace, HIS mercy, His monthly
participation program, HIS next jet purchases, HIS
organization, HIS ocean of bliss, by HIS GRACE, THE
LIVING MASTER - as if there Ever were any others
besides him and his self-proclaimed divine lineage
and full powers this time - 'I have come with full
powers' Guru Maharaj ji. You just didn't get it.
There but for the grace of God go I...]
Happy New Year! [Piss, piss, shit, fart,
vomit, spit, oink, oink, oink, oink]
I rest my case!
signed,
R2Dtour
HRH Richard II
Charles GAsser [i.e. sue your asser]
caca.org
|