And it isn't you, or our ability to discuss things with each other civily, that I'm concerned about. I've been posting on the ex BBs since F5. And what first got me to post was when some exes gang flamed an ex who said something, I don't remember what, that offended the flamers apparent sense of ... I don't know what else to call it, I know there really isn't such a thing, but this gang of 6 or 7 seemed to believe there was some kind of ex "orthodoxy", and that this poor schmo was betraying it.

        It was then I first came to believe in a hate club. I never was fool enough to think it was exclusively an afliction of exes; premies have their branch, too. And it is equally despicable no matter which side of the debate on the substansive issues in the M/K contorversy the hater thinks s/he is on, IMO.

        But I supported Cat's creating the Whisker, when I really wasn't at all sure of him yet, because I'd seen Life's Great get trashed by an invasion of flaming exes. I'm weary of the abuse, of the apparent use of outrageous behavour and statements to compell us to respond so that our responses can then be used against us, no matter what our responses are.

        And if you and I try to have discourse here I, at least, will have 3 respondants to my every post, in addition to you. Some trying to be supportive of you, others trying to join in [perhaps even appropriately now and again], but most flaming me. Else I'd not have made my suggestion in the first place.

        Why don't you check out Hamzen's BB, "In The Zone". It has a private message function, which I've used, and it works fine. We could have a real exchange, in absolute privacy. I promise I wouldn't try and "rescue" you; I don't think you need rescuing. And I'd advise you to not waste your time trying to change my orientation, either. But I do believe we could both learn by a frank elucidation of our perspectives, and I think it could be done in a way that would not be offensive to either of us if we restricted it to an expression of our feelings, beliefs and experiences.