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TO: Maharaji's World
and People Too Confused to be in Maharaji's
World
FROM: Elan Vital North American Operations
SUBJECT: The Status of Elan Vital
Some of you may be wondering about the many
changes that are underway at Elan Vital. In our
never-ending attempts at synchronized
communication, we wanted to inform you that our
Board of Directors is working diligently to figure
out what it is Elan Vital is supposed to do and
whether we will exist two weeks from now.
A number of us at Elan Vital were forced to sit
in hours of meditation over the weekend just to
keep peaceful and centered after reading more
unsubstantiated, anonymous, scurrilous and
insulting attacks of both Elan Vital and Maharaji
over the Internet. Elan Vital feels harrassed by
these comments. It's harrassment, that's what it
is.
We are appalled and shocked about these things,
as you can imagine, and thus we are not surprised
that some premies have engaged in criminal conduct
to try to stop it. Please be advised that these
people are not on Elan Vital membership lists,
because we don't have membership lists. We really
don't keep them at all. Why we don't even know if
we have any members, and if we do, we don't keep
them on lists, that's for sure. We have forgotten
what a list even looks like, that's how long it's
been since we had any of them. Why, we have no idea
if we have any members or not, because we just
don't have any lists. Well, maybe a Post-It or two,
but no lists.
We at Elan Vital are just so grateful THAT GIFT
makes us so loving and non-judgmental. We
understand that some persons have attacked
so-called ex-premies on Ex-Premie.Org, but Elan
Vital is lacking in judgment of all the degenerate,
slimy, negative, bitter, pig-people, whose only joy
in life is hurting good people and organizations by
posting vicious lies about Elan Vital and Maharaji
on the Internet. We are so grateful that we aren't
judgmental, of these mean, sub-humans, all due to
the experience of that Knowledge, and we only want
to do our job better. We have a strict policy about
the fact that we are not judgmental or vindictive,
as you can imagine anyone experiencing supreme love
would not be.
The most recent nay-sayer includes John
MacGregor, who is not anywhere on our nonexistent
membership lists, and who posted completely
unfounded, outrageous, and confused criticisms of
Maharaji that both shocked and sickened Elan Vital.
Our policy of not making Elan Vital shocked and
sickened was violated numerous times by this
disgusting monster.
This reminded us of an earlier anonymous cretin
named 'recent-ex' who said that Maharaji doesn't
answer questions seriously, that Maharaji's
instructors don't talk in a 'real way,' and that
the videos don't have real answers, but the 'same
old horseshit, refried numerous times.'
We were so appalled and shocked by these things,
several of us immediately watched three videos of
Maharaji speaking in June of last year in
Alexandria, Virginia.
Well, all we can say to these outrageous and
untrue statements is to restate the introduction
which used to be on our website but for some reason
isn't there anymore, which states, clearly, in
colors, timing, along with background pictures that
give new meaning to the word 'synchronization,'
that:
KNOWLEDGE:
It's about PEOPLE
It's about LIFE
It's about ENJOYMENT
It's about THIRST
It's about A FEELING
It's about PEOPLE
It's about YOU
Now this just couldn't be clearer and should
answer all your questions, and it would, were it
not for the fact that you are in your mind,
confused, and have the committment and
consciousness of a night crawler. If you would just
listen more, and more, and more, and more, like
watch videos for a reasonable period of time, like
three years, and stop thinking, or, we mean, get
rid of all your preconceptions, it would all be
clear as a bell, because this Knowledge is so
simple and beautiful and available to anyone,
regardless of ability, as long as their lives are
completely committed to it and Maharaji before ever
receiving it. Isn't it wonderful how easy and open
this Knowledge is?
As we also clearly state, or used to state, on
the Elan Vital website, Maharaji has said, more
than once we are sure, that everyone should make up
their own minds about whether Knowledge works for
them.
Of course, the sentence after that one on our
website said that the only reason anyone would
reject Knowledge is because they 'lack the
committment and effort necessary to practice
it.'
We have a clear and non-contradictory policy
about this, specifically that this couldn't be more
open and clear, and completely non-judgmental.
And we would like to add emphatically here, that
Maharaji never, ever said, ever, never, let us
emphasize, and we have a policy that he did not
ever say, not ever, no way, that anything bad would
happen to people who were so stupid and lazy that
they stopped practicing knowledge.
We here at Elan Vital have a clear policy, and
have had since we changed our name from that
Hindu-concept-laden organization, Divine Light
Mission, that Maharaji has never, ever, not ever,
no way, talked about rotting vegetables or going to
hell, or blasting into thousands of pieces, if you
were such an ignorant, slimy, slut that you decided
Knowledge didn't work for you. He never, ever said
such Hindu-concept-laden things, not ever, and
besides, he doesn't say them any more. In fact,
Elan Vital will soon have a short video on our
website in which Maharaji makes this chrystal
clear, let us assure you. We are just working like
synchronized beavers getting that together.
In fact, we at Elan Vital, believe strongly, and
have a written policy saying so, that EVERYONE
should make up their own minds about whether 1)
they love and have gratitude to Maharaji for
knowledge, or, in the alternative, 2) they are lazy
and uncommitted bastards who don't have the brains
or follow-through of a fruit fly to practice
Knowledge.
We say this clearly on our website, and you
would understand this too, if you had any backbone,
consciousness, or insight whatsoever. Again our
policy is to be non-judgmental, and just let people
make up their own minds about whether Knowledge
works for them or not.
This is one of the major things about Elan Vital
that distinguishs us from a cult, among other
things, too numerous to mention. Please refer to
the chart we used to have on our website that makes
this convincingly clear.
Finally, Maharaji has said clearly that you
can't have preconceived notions about knowledge, or
else it doesn't work. Also, you have to have
THIRST. That is just so important. And because you
are both lazy and have preconceptions, and do not
have THIRST, your questions never get answered by
the always completely clear and insightful
statements of Maharaji and his instructors.
You have to have a 'clean slate' as Maharaji so
eloquently, coloqueally, and masterfully states it,
and as we used to have quoted him saying on our
website, or else this gift will not work, PLUS you
have to be thirsty as hell.
As Maharaji said, just like a gardner won't
plant a tree where another tree is already growing,
so the master will not plant Knowledge where there
are preconceptions, and, we guess, in ground that
is not thirsty.
So, while some of you may think you received
knowledge, if you had preconceptions, or maybe
because you drank gallons or water before the
knowledge session, you probably never really did.
We just think it is so funny that you practiced
something for decades that you didn't really ever
have. Isn't Maharaji funny? He's an enigma you
know! A funny enigma!
Isn't this just the clearest and most brilliant
thing you have ever heard in your life? And we have
a policy at Elan Vital that this answers all
questions, at least for anyone with any kind of
human consciousness, about both Maharaji and that
Knowledge.
The requirement to have a 'clean slate,' of
course, does not conflict in the least bit with
Maharaji's statement that you don't have to give up
your religion to receive or experience knowledge
and Elan Vital, which is not a cult, has a
long-standing policy about this. It all just makes
perfect sense, if you listen with those little ears
poking out the sides of your heart, that is.
We at Elan Vital just hope that we and Maharaji
will not have to bear the slings and arrows of
these unfounded questions and attacks for much
longer. But we just want to do our jobs better, so
if it means being attacked and ridiculed on the
Internet, we may just have to put up with it, and
just practice knowledge with more effort and by
experiencing all the openness and love that comes
from that gift, until the unconsious scum you all
are, are wiped from the dung heap you reside in by
our capable lawyers who will be doing nothing more
than protecting our copyright interests, or by some
unknown people, absent from our nonexistent
membership lists, who figure out a way to do
something radically creative with the lot of
you.
Yours, in ever-increasing synchronization:
ELAN VITAL: ABSOLUTELY NOT A CULT SINCE
1971
You can contact us at:
Elanvital@wearenotacult/wereallyarent.org
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