Hey there Annie!

Not sure where to start. I think the main issue is that people like me need to practise Knowledge, and we need to be encouraged to practise Knowledge. Sounds contradictory, I know, but that is how it is. And it is not a belief at all, more like a physical itch that can only be scratched one way (IMHO!) Horses don't do it for me, though they seem like nice animals.

I don't think your glass of water analogy works. I can imagine someone in hospital who has been on a venous drip for so long that they can't remember what it is like to feel thirsty. If you say to them "I was thirsty and somebody gave me a glass of water" it wouldn't mean much to them.  I don't know why some people have this itch/thirst and others do not. Early childhood trauma? Maybe. I had that. So, yes . . . maybe. That was what I meant by "want it" and it is certainly not a "belief," although I can understand it appearing that way. I don't know how many people there are in the world like me, or indeed in the premie community. I feel sure that there must be many people there still practising Knowledge for the wrong reasons. And that is where you get your "power-crazed micro-managers." They didn't want to be there and were trying to get something out of it that was not available. Incidentally, I think you are being very benign towards these guys. I remember them well, and my recollections are way more scatological.

Regarding the Jag Deo thing, I have looked into this as well as I could, as I was left in no doubt that the account written by the woman who apparently suffered as a child was the truth. One of my closest friends today was in charge of looking after the Mahatmas when they first arrived in England in the early 70s. She told me that one of the first young chaps to arrive touched a woman's breasts in the ashram. She agonised over it and decided she had to tell MJ. His response was immediate: "First plane back to India." It happened again. Same result. Third time she just said to him "MJ, we've got another one." It was a serious cultural problem. The way women dress in the west conveys a message of availability to straight-laced young Indian men, who grow up in circumstances of extreme sexual frustration. This is said NOT to condone anything, just perhaps to understand a little. Anyway, none of them did anything approaching what Jag Deo is alleged to have done. When I mentioned what I had read she was shocked and amazed. She said he was a respected instructor and there had never been any suggestion about his behaviour. Detmers agrees that MJ acted swiftly when he heard of such cases, especially where children were concerned. I keep the question open. Maybe one day we will find out more.

I will try to get time for more soon.

Cheers.